260

Where does one draw the line? How does one logically approach life? How much of our environment influences us? Our genetics? Our culture? Is being single a crime? Does it make me a lesser person? What is a relationship? Why does it have to mean only one other person? Does it have to be limited to one woman with one man, or one boy with one girl? Or one lady with one lady or one guy with one guy? Why do we not blink when we see a 55 year old man with a 20 year old girl, yet a 35 year old woman with a 28 year old man is scandalous? What is conventional? Am I too liberal? Where do our barriers and limitations end? Where do they commence? How does one justify their actions? Is my beliefs system more important then yours because I have more money? Education? I am Canadian, or American? Christian or Catholic? I am male as opposed to female? If I were older or younger? Because I saw more films, read entire collections of works, visited more museums and galleries? I had traveled further, and had more job experience?

Random Thoughts

I ate deer meat tonight for supper. I stopped myself from baking a cake, and had a small handful of chocolate chips. I found someone to practice typing in French to. I like my new job. I'm depressed.. Whoop de doo! I'm single and sometimes I love it and other times I hate it! Who cares? I used to be "plus size" now I'm just "bigger." WTF is "bigger" and who decided it was a fucking compliment?

What is love? Is it a tingle in your stomach, a gleam in your eye, a spring in your step? I thought I had to stay single till I found it, just because they kept falling in love with me (aren't I, an arrogant bitch). I hated hurting them, one after another.. Mind you, I used to relish in it. Oh yes, I was a cold and twisted little bitch when I was younger. They'd fall for me and I'd toy with them. It was a game, a manipulative and hurtful game. Then I recognized my game and I put a stop to it. So I thought.. I think I went from playing the games with them, to playing the game with myself.

I miss my incoherent rambles.