Happy New Year

What a wild year..

I love you guys.

Thanks for reading.


*muah*

CHEERS!

Monday- Went to Great Aunt and Uncles for dinner, drove to Halifax with my cousin his beautiful wife and two free-range kitties.. Good times. Went to Kenzies had some beers and some laughs, met up with Kiara, we went to Seahorse, meet some interesting people. Ran in high heeled boots to catch bus, was wrong bus, waited for bus, arrived back at Kenzie's watched Braveheart for 20th time in my life. Good times.

Tuesday- Stayed another day in Halifax did nothing outrageous visited with friends, relaxed it was enjoyable.

Wednesday- Departed from Halifax with Jordan (my cousin) Megan (his lovely wife) Kenzo (our dear friend) and two free range kitties and a third in a cage (loads of hissing). Arrived in Cape Breton met up with my Metalheads, wasted 7.75 watching King Kong (oh so boring). Had fun visiting with my boys. Was dropped at Allison's went to Rum Jungle.. visited the delightful MJ and visited with some other friends. Seen old crush.. Received many compliments on weight loss from various people. Feeling good.

Thursday- Went for coffee with Laura, Boy-Jamie and Allison, made somewhat peace with Nikki. Then went to visit Aunt and Uncle had terrific visit and meal. Some tasty apple pie. Picked up Kevin and headed to North Sydney for a Main Street Mission. Oh what a night!

Friday- Hopped on bus at 8 am, arrived in Moncton at 4:30 pm walked to get the van, drove to Grammy's had some dinner got ready to go out picked up Tasha and headed in Sussex to meet up with Laura and her clan. (I still had my curlers in my hair when I got there.. Was teased about that but I had to make sure they set!) We were supposed to go to a show in Sussex but we had fair to much fun visiting and ended up missing it. Trekked over to Jeff's for the Christmas festivities. Wondered over to Dooley's to see Tanya. Ventured back to Jeff's for more visiting. Headed over with he girls to the Thirsty Mule. Literally bumped into my high school crush. Awkward. Then back to Jeff's for more celebrating (it was officially Laura's Birthday!) Had a magnificent time. Was out till 5 am crawled in bed with Tash and Laura and fell sound asleep.

Saturday- Woke up drove Tasha home for family dinner. Visited with Grandma. Ripped back into Sussex to grab last minute items. Got back and Gram and I booked it for Petitcodiac to visit my Aunt, Uncle and cousins. We had a divine meal. I checked my marks on there Internet ( I was a bit disappointed and a bit relieved and a bit exited). Then we all went to Riverglade to see my Aunt sing.

Sunday- Grammy woke me up at 8am ish to open presents.. I received some lovely gifts. Very happy about the cordless phone from my parents. Then we drove to Moncton to have dinner with my other Aunt, Uncle and family. I stopped home briefly to open the gifts here.. It was awesome. Then back to grams for a relaxing evening with very full bellies.

Monday- Up at 11 am rushed into Sussex with my cousin to grab dinner rolls, three stores later we were back at Grandma's had a lovely meal and visit with almost all my extended family on my mothers side. The phone started ringing as dinner was being served. It was my friend from Halifax. He was arriving earlier because of the storm. So I had to rush back to Moncton to meet him. Good thing I did the weather turned nasty last night. We went out t a punk show last night. It was fun. I tried absinthe for the first time. Very lovely.

Tuesday- I cooked breakfast and did some housework. I think I may go grab quick nap while thing are quiet.

I hope you all had a lovely holiday.

happy

I am so happy I could cry.

King Kong is so BORING!

Main Street Mission Tonight!

Merry Christmas!

Happy Holidays

"Take my mind
All the way
The darkside calls
I shan't resist"

Visions From The Dark Side-Morbid Angel

I drove Sean to the Airport this morning, made me rather sad. He is in Alberta now, and Daniel arrives there tomorrow. A family Christmas and I will miss it. At least I am not working on Christmas this year like last. I will be at my grandmother's for the entire holiday.

I depart for Halifax in the morning then on to Cape Breton on Tuesday, I will be there till I catch the bus Friday morning for my return to Moncton. Which will be promptly followed by my departure for Sussex for my friend's party and celebrating my dear friend Laura's birthday!

I want to with all of you a wonderful Holiday!

Loads of love!

Jamie

SO

Like the weather in New Brunswick wait five minutes and it'll change

so has my mood.

My friend Laura said to me last week that I have such a great life thanks to the people around me...

It's so unbelievably true.

I am going to Halifax Monday, my friend Kiara is taking care of my expenses there. Heading to the Cape on Tuesday, my brother lent me the money to go. Friday night is my friend Jeff's party and then my grandmother's till sometime next week.

I was sad because I couldn't go to my parents for Christmas both my brothers will be there. Yet now I get to visit my grandmother and my Aunt and Uncles in both Cape Breton and Moncton so that is cool!

I was ina bad mood Thursday night, but after two wonderful conversations with a friend in Sussex (over pizza) and my friend Ryan in Saskatchewan.. Things perked up.

I must head out to the mall to do some last minute Christmas shopping. I hate malls!

I hope you are all well and have amazing holidays.

Love

Jamie

Cynical idiot

Who was I fooling.. Thinking that I could be like that.

Some things never change...

The Jamie show..

should be called the

emotionally retarded, cold hearted, ignorant, arrogant, insecure, partyholic, slutty bitch show

I was delusional.. I was blind, I patched the wall.

Fuck I hate this.

I need to shut the fuck up and quit being so goddam annoyingly whiney.

I need a dose of reality from my boys, thank god I am going to see them this week.

Sabotage

"And if I don't make it known that
I loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignored because
We're both dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out"

-Our Lady Peace

A 25 year old female officier was killed going to a disturbance call.

I have no words..

My brother is here to take me to my grandmother's house for the evening...

This is life right now..

Advice

On Monday I have a free ride to Halifax, that then continues on to Cape Breton on Tuesday afternoon (weather permitting I presume). I must be in Sussex Friday evening the 23rd. I have half the money for the bus ticket home.. pus a bit of cash that I could feasibly go.. but it would be a tight situation.. I REALLY want to go, but financially it could be an unwise choice.. I keep weighing the pros and cons. I want to go!

My friends from Ontario and British Columbia will be down, my friend from Ontario I am not certain when I will have the opportunity to see again. My cousins from Ontario are also coming down, I really want to spend time with them. They are moving to Gagetown in February so I know I will get to hang out with them more often then. I also want to visit with my Aunt and Uncle. Yet I don't have money to buy presents for everyone so I will feel like an asshole.

My friends in Halifax I haven't seen in a long time and would like to see.

I don't know what to do...

Jamie

the majority of my exams are completed. I wrote my Environmental
studies one this morning and I am pretty sure I got an A perhaps even
well hopefully an A+.. I wrote my history one.. My mind went totally
blank and I think I bombed it...I could say, "can't win them all" but that
would be such a cop out....

I am laying on Laura's floor typing this on her snazzy laptop.. I was
discussing with her something Chris and I talked about on Monday
night... I view myself as being inferior because I am a woman.. When I
discuss being female I do so in a derogatory fashion.. I am ashamed of
my femininity.. I constantly rag on (pun intended) about my female qualities being weak..
I need to embrace who I am... It's purely cultural... Women are viewed
as inferior globally and I have adopted that idea... It took me 24
years and 2 months to realize that I am ashamed of being a "girl."

So I usually do this "time of the month" post bitching and whining
about being a girl and myself.. Instead this month I am going to focus
on what I like about myself and being a woman.

Why Jamie enjoys herself :

1. My eyes.. I have beautiful blue eyes that change from light blue, to
deep blue to grey.. They are one of my best features and I tend to
hide them behind my glasses.
2. Keeping with that I have lovely long eyelashes.
3. Breasts- they are big, round, pierced and I love them.
4. My legs, long, strong and ooo so smooth when they are freshly
shaven.. I love the muscles in my calves and thighs.... I am fortunate that they
still work well.
5. My scars- they are a reminder of where I have been and where I am
going.. They are a history of me and the things I have accomplished
and the troubles I have faced.
6. My hair.. Its long, dark and a perfect curtain to hide behind or
flip open for the world to see my
7. Face which is filled with
8. Freckles.. I despised them when I was younger, now I am beginning to
appreciate the wonder of the freckles that speckle my face, arms
shoulders and even my chest.. Not too many yet they become this lovely
coating in the summer.
9. My nose, my grandmother made fun of it when I was younger.. I
realized in my late teens it was because it was her nose, and she
didn't like her own nose.. I think it's cute it has a little round
ball at the tip that gives it a fun shape.
10. My lips have this cute little dip at the top that make the shape
of my lips more defined.
11. My teeth, the top ones are so straight and I have never worn
braces.. The bottom ones are slightly crooked but that is what gives my
smile character and it's shine.
12. My strong arms that though are still too "gooey" for my liking
have this amazing muscle tone underneath and when I flex them a certain
way the tone is emphasized and feels really wicked.
13. My tummy.. With it's own scar and my little round belly button that
is sensitive.. Though my stomach needs a lot of toning and to be not so
round.. I enjoy it nonetheless.
14. My feet are fun, they are tough, keeping me moving even when I
stuff them into obscenely uncomfortable shoes.
15. My long slender fingers that help me type out these delightful posts.
16. My baby-maker... For obvious reasons.. It is the source of my
greatest pleasures and my GREATEST pain (that's to that troublesome
car accident and a incompetent doctor.)
17. My fingernails.. I have woman nails now.. I stopped biting them
over a year ago and I love tapping them on things and scratching an
itch has become very enjoyable experience ever since.
18. My brain.. Though I am still trying to figure out exactly how it
works so I can maximize it's potential.
19. My bottom ( said with an snooouuutty English accent) .. Another thing I used to be ashamed of.. Now I am enjoying it's roundness.
20. My skin, soft, and oh so very pale.. Another thing I used to
hate.. Now I enjoy complimenting it with various fabrics.. Maintaining
it with various soaps and moisturizing to keep it smooth and
touchable.


yea.. I like getting to know me again to enjoy, who I am! AND all the pieces that make me "Jamie".

shhhh

2 eams in less than 7 hours...


I'm scared...

"lie here on the floor"

"cry on my shoulder once again"

-James Blunt

I am going to fail psychology..

I was trying to study for my psych exam which is at 9 am. And my apartment flooded again, I am so disgusted... I am so freaked out and I started smoking again.. I am listening to James Blunt and being all whiny... It's my girly time of the month so forgive me...

On the plus side I think I kicked ass on my exam last night... I am trying so desperately to look on the bright side of things right now....

I lit my scent burning thing with apple scent trying to perk things up.. I am going to have a quick nap and try not to cry..

I need to cry..

This is it

I catch the bus in two hours to go to Sackville, I am heading straight to administration to replace my lost student ID card,. I never did get my wallet returned.. *sniff*

Then the library to do some last minute studying before the big ol exam.. It's at 7 pm in the GYM... Apparently the worst place to write an exam.

I am staying at the lovely Laura's tonight... Everyone else there is in the middle of exams as well could b a pretty stressful environment.

I received a beautiful Christmas card from the most beautiful girl in Edmonton! (It's a beautiful sunshiney day here today so the flight should go well.)

oh and my girly ick is coming today... So I will be in pain, sick and crank all through exams... Appropriate.. I suppose.

I think some Motorhead would be fitting right now.

Did I ever tell you I have the best little brother on the planet.. I was short on funds, and he gave me a shitload of money for Christmas and bought me dinner... I am cleaning his vehicle (which he is also lending me while he is away!!!!) as his Christmas present..

which reminds me I should make a list of things to accomplish over the holidays.

Inconclusive

So the drama queen has left the building.. She's been replaced by this lovely lady who wants to study hard, do well on her exams. She will try not to think about the financial difficulties that she will be undergoing for the next month.

I go look for a Christmas job on Tuesday.. My friend suggested Le Chateau.. Jamie working in a place where "anorexic chic" is the fashion... Could be comical. I am friendly polite, approachable and I am a damn good sales person, learned that working in call centres.

Last week was hellish, so I am going to make this week extra great to make up for it.

First exam is tomororw night at 7pm.. wish me luck =)

in love

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders...

I talked to him for the first time in three weeks...

I was spinning in circles.. I was lost.. I was empty...

things are still complex.. but..

the wall has been eliminated..
I am weak and vulnerable.. I laughed and I cried.. Then I laughed some more..
I am a hopeless, passionate romantic... Who has found her soulmate...

Now I just have to stop trying to sabotage it.

Back to studying for exams.

When everything changed

Reflecting on my life.. Had some people from High School step back into my life recently... and there was some mention of how I changed since then... and yet I still am me!

so I thought I would republish something I wrote last year about events from the fall of 1999 when my life course changed drastically and I began to become the "lady" I am now.

September 11th, 1999:

I had graduated from high school in June, my hobbies were: running, swimming, walking, biking, skating, skiing, I had just signed up to learn how to snow-board and take some kick-boxing classes. I was living with my best friend in Regina and things were not going well she was on a Jesus kick and I was on a freedom kick..

It was less than a month from my 18th birthday and I had just finished my night of work at 7 am. I worked nights at the Royal bank processing student loans in Regina's north-end, I caught a ride to the bus station from girl from work who had just moved to Saskatchewan from Nova Scotia, my birthplace. I got on the bus, settled down in my seat put my headphones and was preparing to catch some sleep when a drunk native hopped on the bus (which was practically empty) and sat down right next to me and proceeded to talk to me the entire way to Whitewood. He bummed cigarettes off me and told me his sorry story about having to get to Winnipeg to see his brother who was helping him go through re-hab but he only had enough money to go to Portage Le Prairie (for those of you unfamiliar with the prairies that is about an hour from Winnipeg).

I being the retard I am, gave him cigarettes and money to finish off his trip. My brother picked me up at the gas station in Whitewood where my bus came in to drive me to the shit-ass town my parents lived in, that was so small the bus didn't even go there. My cousin Trinity was coming for a visit and my mom had just gotten out of the hospital after having passed kidney stones (which is supposed to be a tremendously painful experience). Here I was going home to take care of my mom, my brother Sean had stayed home with my mother to help her do laundry (because even in her condition my mom cannot sit still and do nothing; especially when specifically told to do so!) My brother Dan had picked me up in my family's minivans, my father was away working for CN with our jeep. I had offered to drive (even though I had not slept and shouldn't really be driving, he had not had his license long and we both love driving. He said no and so I hopped in shotgun and away we were.

Now in Saskatchewan the roads are mostly gravel (the hicks) so the quickest way back to our town (a half hour away) was by a gravel road. We had a really great chat and things were going well, I was sitting upright with my seat-belt on properly (unusual for me because I hated the seat-belt rubbing on my neck), he also had his on, (unusual for him cause he never wore his seat-belt when mom or dad weren't around). We had a great chat about life, my job, his school, our crazy friends, and the shit-ass town he lived in (and I had just moved away from). We were about a kilometer away from town, we could see it, and we hit loose gravel (which again for those of you unfamiliar with all this: it is like hitting black ice) no sign warning us, we were doing about 90 km/h when we noticed it up ahead and proceeded to slow to around 70 ish. Now my brother being a new driver, us both panicking................... Well to be perfectly honest.........ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We slide to the right, then left, then hit the ditch on the right hand side of the road, now thank god for Sask and the flatness in wasn't a deep ditch, we apparently rolled three times according to the piles of glass found afterward, I remember one flip, we rolled on our side, hitting my side first (which I think is why I got so banged up).

So I wake up and I am laying flat on my back thinking what the FUCK just happened? Why am I laying on my back, (turns out we broke the seats off) why can I feel the breeze on my face, and why is there glass on me? HOLY FUCK WHERE'S DAN? I rolled over to see my brother Dan not moving, not making a sound, not breathing!!!!!!!

The most terrifying moment of my life, I am his big sister, his protector and my brother is hurt what the fuck am I supposed to do, stay calm Jamie stay calm, you are not supposed to shake him, you are not supposed to move him, you can't freak out, don't cry, stay CALM! What should I do? Wait I know I'll pinch him, so I did.......

"FUCK OFF"

the most beautiful words I ever heard in my whole entire life were uttered on September 11th, 1999 at 10:32 am (you may ask how I know the time? Well I looked at two things when we started to loose control, the speed and the time do not ask why but I can remember that clear as a bell.....)

MY BROTHER WAS ALIVE HE WAS GOING TO BE OKAY!

I hoped, but he was coughing up blood, that can't be good and he was cursing like a sailor...Not unusual............. Next thing I know a guy is standing next to my window, I can't see him ( I am blind as a bat without my glasses, and had lost them somewhere; but me being an idiot thought it was cause I had hit my head). He puts a plaid jacket over me and asks if I am okay, hell I have NEVER been better; I was in SHOCK! I freak and tell him to look after my brother, next thing I know a car is spinning off, and a guy is standing over me........

It's George, my best friend and roommate's father, I exclaimed: George!, apparently he looked at me then my brother and back at me again, then again at my brother thinking he looks familiar ( I must have been fucked up cause this man was like a second father to me for several months!)

I wouldn't let anyone touch me at the accident, I wanted them to look after my brother, and they did! Because he had a collapsed lung which they could tell from the air bubbles in the blood he was coughing up; the cops were there to and my brother kept telling them to fuck off and leave him alone because he thought he was home in bed.

My crazy brother doesn't remember any of our accident or most of that day which is kind of funny since I could say that he was singing Britney Spears song to the paramedics and he couldn't say different (funny how I am laughing about this five years later but at the time I was out of my head with fear that my brother was going to die) I stayed calm enough to tell the cops: my address, my parents names, their phone number, and pleaded with them to call my mom (funny how a week before I was big and tough and on my own; yet when I needed her I was calling for my mommy)

Next thing I know I am looking at the roof of our van moving overhead......They couldn't open any of the doors they had to take us out through the back using the jaws of life (my aren't we special lol) Then we are at the hospital and Larry (a close family friend who is a pretty big guy who drives a nice motorcycle) is gently wiping off my blue nail polish. Then the moment of truth I see my mom and for the first time I remember that day I start to cry and complain of pain ("Mommy my tummy hurts") guess how the doctors knew Jamie had internal injuries? Sure enough he pushes on my stomach and blood comes out in the catheter bag. Then my dad comes and we have a moment (my dad and I are big softies, we cry a lot but shhh don't tell him I told you.) Now my brother and I both have to be rushed to Regina General hospital....Yea.......

Now my doctor (god love him) hops in the ambulance with us even though he didn't have to and comes with us to the nearest city hospital in Regina. I woke up somewhere along the way and sat up (very bad thing to do with internal injuries) and looked around for my brother the doctor came over and freaked. I seen my brother sleeping peacefully on the floor on a stretcher and calmly lay back down and proceed to fall asleep. I vaguely remember the lights of the hospital ceiling flashing by and bam I am in the operating room, my clothes are being cut off me (whatever hadn't been earlier???) but when they get to my beloved purple bra, and don't ask me what the fuck I was thinking but I would NOT let them cut the damn thing off me I sat up and help them take it off, but I do believe I had an IV in because the did end up cutting the strap.(but I safety pinned it later).

Then out like a light again and I woke up in my hospital room with my cousin Trinity, her friend Chris, Larry, Betty (Larry's wife), my friend Joy-Anne, my boyfriend Robin, my Mom and my Dad all standing around my bed............

Oh my god I am dying..........Oh my god where the fuck is Dan? and why is the room so foggy and why is my body fuzzy?

(now for those of you that don't know anything about my past I had never done any drugs ever in my life, except Tylenol 2 when I had my wisdom teeth out when I was 12, it had been the "hardest" drug I had done)

Here I am waking up on morphine and who the fuck knows what else in my system, and everyone looks soooooooooooo serious....First I was told Dan was fine but in another room.............They begin to explain what the doctors had done............Something about screws in my legs and having two black eyes...........Well I being the insane person I am on drugs for the first time cracked two jokes, one about them trying to crucify me (screws in my ankles) and another after about my boyfriend beating me (he almost shit his pants standing next two four of the biggest scariest people in the hospital who were all terribly concerned about my well-being hahaha but anyway back to my tale).

I entertained for a few moments.......It's all foggy and then prompty fell asleep.............The fucking hospital had some dumb rule about boys and girls sharing rooms so my brother had to stay across the hall from me (even though the girl in the bed next to me fucked her boyfriend on numerous occasions, thank god I was stoned and asleep but friends had witnessed it, those curtains are not that thick) so for however many fucken days I was convinced he was dead and no one would tell me, my dad would be in with him, and my mom with me and then they'd switch............

The day Daniel walked into my room and poor little Sean(my other little brother) was there as well; I lost it! I cried and cried AND cried I knew my family was safe and life was good.............

So there I was stoned for the first time in my life, with a cast (plaster cause of course it was a Saturday and late at night so I had to wait for my cool purple cast till the Monday) a long knee brace, tubes in my knee, my nose, my throat, my stomach, two IV's in my hand, and well, a catheter (I hate those fucking things!) I had 22 centimeters of my small intestine removed and had staples in my stomach from above my belly button to my bikini line............anyway..............

.For those of you who love to "cheer" people up in the hospital as the saying goes "laughter is the best medicine".....Well in my case it hurt to cough, sneeze and ohhh laughter was immensely painful.....I made a poor guy who came to visit me stop telling me a story cause I thought I might cry from laughing, it hurt so much and I was on some pretty crazy shit!

My brother had a broken elbow, thumb, and had a chest tube (which he says hurts like a motherfucker). He went home after less than a week with my dad. My mom stayed with me and my beloved grandmother flew out from New Brunswick to see me............They stayed with me to entertain me........ Cause I still couldn't see, and the hospital has a great collection of films which I could only hear and if I squinted a bit I could make out shapes lol......... My boyfriend at the time swears that we watched TheMmask of Zorro, but I don't remember.

My roommate came to visit me with our lease agreement, and showed me my face ( I was fucked out of my head) My mother almost strangled her to death, cause I wigged out with my literal black eyes, oh and she brought in some cute boys we were friends with...................... and my bag of pee was hanging on the side of the bed, I hadn't bathed since the day before my accident, and my face was five different shades of black, blue, purple, green, and red . I was a beautiful multi-colored mess! My boyfriend at the time told me that he loved me and I thought I was having a nightmare (hehehe).

After I had all the tubes removed and went through one of the most terrifying things ever: learning how to walk up a set of stairs with not one but TWO broken legs! It was a great accomplishment.... Here I was 17 years old learning how to walk again, having my mother bath me (humiliating moment) having everyone get excited when I had my first bowel movement (another embarrassing experience).

I was sent home, to my parents place, here I was the most stubborn little girl ( I had lost 25 pounds in the hospital after not eating for two weeks), I was one of those people who could do anything anyone else can, I was a strong competent female ready to take on the world before this had happen. Now I had to depend on everyone, to take a bath, go to the bathroom, walk, eat, it was a BIG change! My doctor even made a house call, unheard of these days.

Here I was the girl whose biggest fears was being helpless! Left completely helpless! I couldn't defend myself in any way shape or form, I could lay still. My brother's friend a month after the whole ordeal (my parents had purchased a new minivan) said I should be glad I broke both my legs because the new van had a CD player, and NO ONE would give me my damn crutches to beat him with.

After three years of being in and out of re-hab, having at least two surgeries a year and spending more time in waiting rooms than most old people do in church. I gained a *100 pounds from inactivity, birth control and pain medications. Last June** I had my very last hospital stay and I am so glad it is over.
(edit * I have lost about 50 of the hundred pound gain perhaps more since I refuse to step on a scale anymore.. I was a size 20 and have got down to a 15/13 **the last surgery was in 2002)

I still have the scars... I still have pain every once in a while.. but that accident taught me so many valuable lessons.. It made me appreciate pain, vulnerability and FAMILY!

I wouldn't change my life for a minute.

fuck

I live in a world where a father murders his children and dumps them beside a highway to be discovered two years later by a woman out walking her dog.

http://edition.cnn.com/2005/US/12/02/missing.kids/index.html

I become more disgusted each day... a little bit of my humanity is eradicated each day by humans...

Every once in a while.. There is just something that happens and.....

we maim, murder and rape each other, every day... Sweet Jesus fucking son of a whore can anyone tell me why?

"Knowledge is power" and it's good, fun and all that other stuff but sometimes.. Knowledge is pain..

Balance

Got extention on my large assignment.. Plus
toilet being jack ass minus
Pantera tribute show tonight plus
hundred other things wrong with my apartment minus
nap I had this afternoon plus
yummy pizza I made bonus
uncontrollable shaking minus
classes done bonus
classes done minus
exams next week minus
loads of prep time bonus

Donation

I added a link.. I feel a bit like an ass doing so.. and it's a big blow to the old pride. but desperate times call for desperate measures.. I cold say I need funds for breast augmentation.. Apparently its' a good way to get dough on the net.. lol

seriously dudes I don't' expect anything.. and yea..

I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around.. Perhaps I won't need it.. Cause things seem to always work out well in the end.. but yea.. It's there.. and if you feel so inclined..

But I want you to know I especially appreciate your moral support..

Love always and Forever,

Jamie

blowin' shit up

Did you ever have one of those days where you wanted to scream and yell and punch people and throw stuff and light things on fire and blow stuff up and use the word "and" a million times.

Today is that day for me.. I am stressed out.. It's raining out.. In Prose Fiction I learned that this is a pathetic fallacy...

Shit got fucked up and I could very well be poor till January.. which fucks over all my plans for Christmas holidays and makes me rather pissed... I think after exams I will pound the pavement and get me a real job.. god I suck.