Pie, Seaweed Pie!

I can't do this.. Who am I fooling... Panic panic PANIC....

I requested my transcripts, I triple check my references, have someone sending in reference letter, have to track down the second person and beg them to do it as well..... and I re-read my cover letter, sent it to my mom and two friends to review it....

I feel so insecure... Deep breaths... Loud metal music... I CAN do this right... I am a fairly competent person... Aren't I?


You have to be open to new experiences.

Tears

They spilled down my cheeks unending this afternoon... I couldnt' contain them... my shirt was damp... my eyes red rimmed...

Dreams of what could be
Oppurtunities unseen
Love will come your way
isn't that what the fairy tales say?


I get far too involved in my friends lives....

Hey WOMAN!

I viciously scrubbed the bathtub tonight.. While fretting... such a fucking woman... I am upset so I clean.

I cooked Mr.Noodles.. my crazy roommate was right... Then new Mr.Noodles are hellacious, I hate the new flavoring packets. My skin is dry from work. I wore my dominant business suit today, with my highest pair of heels, and I even dabbed on a little make up. My dark rimmed glasses compliment it nicely, only problem is... I am sick of wearing them.. My other glasses are still in Halifax.

I get my contacts tomorrow, and I only work 3-8 so I can go out to the Sinner's Ball, apparently these bands are supposed to be rock, and great... I need a nice glass of whiskey and to listen to some good music to get swept away in it all.

I have the best intentions of setting up a budget. I plan everything out the day I get my pay stub, then I end up doing something ridiculous like going to the grocery store before eating. Grocery shopping is my own personal means of vacation. Grocery shopping at 4 am, the store is empty and quiet and oddly relaxing.

I think I am going to throw on my black dress, cut and curl my hair and put some war paint on before I go out tomorrow night. If Laura hasn't got this dreadful flu, I hope she will come out with me.. I think the red dress will look awesome with her new dark do.

* I am listening to "Angels Fuck"-Jack off Jill, I hope your scamper through the metropolis of Calgary was absolutely enchanting, and I can't wait to hear all about this fellow who accompanied you. Thanks for listening attentively as I giggle like a school girl and throwing the much needed boost of confidence in my direction..... Strawberry Gashes makes me teary eyed... You are pulchritudinous, and I anxiously anticipate your next piece of writing.*

Bursting

You Belong in 1969

1969 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Giggling

I could give you background... I could explain.. But I won't!

Read THIS and just laugh... Read it from start to finish and trust me it's worth it... If you don't get it I feel sorry for you...

Must read:

Shoelaces theory. It's mainly true, some woman are like that... It sucks but it's true.

Monopoly story makes me almost pee my pants... Seriously. Everytime.

Toronto adventure... Plane incident.

_______________________________________________________

I am going to put back up my links to all my favorite blogs..

Leave comment or email me if you want to join the list.

behind the clouds

The T-shirt

Tonight I came home from work... Turned on the computer and slipped into my PJ pants and my favorite t-shirt... You know the one that really should be tossed because the holes have started to outnumber the cloth... The one that is oh so comfy, with a bands name written on the front...

Led Zeppelin baby... This T-shirt has been to the centre of Canada and back by 2 separate people...

I moved to Rocanville when I was barely 17, I was scared out of my mind, having grown up in small town NB, I thought small town SK was going to be hell... I met this girl, hung out at her place and borrow her Led Zeppelin t-shirt one night to wear to bed... She told me it belonged to some Eric guy... Turns out that "Eric guy" was my best friend in NB's ex boyfriend who had moved to SK a couple of months before me..... It was comforting to know that someone from "back home" had been there, and that shirt was a piece of where I came from as dumb as that sounds I felt a little less lost.

I kept the shirt... Came home that summer for a visit and ran into Eric at a party, while wearing his T-shirt... We chatted about what a hell hole small town SK had been... I offered him back his shirt... He said it suited me... That was over 5 years ago and I still wear this shirt all the time... There was no point to that story....


no idea why my post is unlined..... Too tired to really care...


Nothing beats screaming at your best friend for being supportive, crying when she calls you on your vileness, laughing hysterically while hugging her as you realize you are both bitchy crazy lonely women and finally admitting to it.


"Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream."-Anonymous

ok then?

You Are a Social Blogger!

Your blog is more of a semi-private affair for your friends. It's how you keep in touch... sharing stories, jokes, and pics.

What kind of blogger are you?

work sucks

But hot musicians make me blush....

Sniff

Hunter S. Thompson Killed himself.

I am shocked.... I haven't had the oppurtunity to read his full body of work... what I have read I enjoyed... I am so dismayed.....

I had such a wonderful day... this really turned it all around.

Foolish Female

"You're lovely, but you're empty," he went on. "One couldn't die for you. Of course an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than you altogether, since she's the one I've watered. Since she's the one I put under glass. Since she's the one I sheltered behind a screen."

Tonight Jamie wanted to go out dancing... I offered to drive the drunks around.. I just wanted to go somewhere I could dance, I could just let myself go and move to the music.... I could forget about getting dumped (and that I still like the guy... argh) that I wouldn't feel vulnerable... I HATE that.. More than anything... I was made vulnerable... That I could just slip into a crowd of people moving with the beat sashaying my hips, glide on my feet and be transported into blissful relaxation....

She told me she was lonely too.... We both rant and rave about our independence... But I feel better, now that she told me she feels it too... We are both so stubborn.. Yet we are mostly just jaded....Reluctantly admitting to our insecurities and vulnerabilities sometimes...

I am going hardcore with the applications tomorrow.. Mount Allison University has free online applications (normally $50) till February 28th, wish me luck trying to explain where I have been for the last few years...

I got sent this to cheer me up tonight:

Sapphire

Slip inside my skin
Change the mood I'm in
Breathing deep
Make me weep

Slide the bottle close
Ready for the next dose
Look into my eyes
Never compromise

You little minx, I never noticed... I never thought... I can't help but say I am quite excited.... I needed to discover a new piece for my addiction...

I have began preparations for my next adventure...

Lyrics By Wintersleep:Home

"So glad to be back home, be back home

So glad to be back home, be back home

I can’t stay too long, be back home

So glad to be back home, be back home

Loving to hit so hard, hit so hard

Loving to hit so hard, hit so hard

Every little cause, hit so hard

Loving to hit so hard, hit so hard

So glad to be back home, be back home

So glad to be back home, be back home

So glad to be back home, be back home

So glad to be back home, be back home"



***********************************************





This has been stuck in my head since Tuesday night...
I identify quite strongly with this song.. because I am
back in New Brunswick where I grew up my "home"....
Going to see this band with Laura on Wednesday, made me remember
a lot of really amazing moments.. and also recognize how wonderful
everything has been lately.

The nostalgia becomes a little overwhelming at times, and trying
to sort through my future.

I had a transcending conversation with Tanya last night, I never
wanted to reach through the phone and hug someone so much.  I'm proud
of her.... and I can't help but feel a little lost without her.

I learned since this whole "email" thing that I have some pretty fucking
awesome friends, and I can't help but be extremely grateful.

"All My Life I'm going to Live It Up"

"Banks and riches are chains of gold, but still chains." - Edmund Ruffin

I am getting rid of my car... There I said it... OK... I am going to offer it to my friend to take over the payments.. If she says no then I am going to drive it back to the dealership and deal with the consequences... The middle of April... I feel too tied down by it now...

Free applications to Mount Allison University this week and next, so that should be fun, since I am a "mature" student (been out of high school for longer than 5 years) I have to account for my whereabouts for the last 5 years... Should be fun..

"I tried and failed is a lot better than I wish I'd tried" - Anonymous

My cousins from Ontario came to New Brunswick for two weeks, didn't call my grandmother or anyone for that matter to say they were down... How sad is that....


Georgina and Chris will be here on Saturday and I am really looking forward to seeing them, even if they fight the entire time they are here it will be some sort of strange comfort.

I have finally realized why I hate the call centre environment so much... I kick motherfucking ass at it... It's too simple... I have figured out the formula to be the best, and it bores me... I need a new adventure... I think I may give bartending another shot... It's much more entertaining.... I learned some of the most important lessons on dealing with people and confrontations from working in a bar...

"Be Yourself! Who else is better qualified?" - Anonymous

I used to be scared of offending people, of not being liked, or getting hurt... I told someone the other day that if they didn't like me, to not talk to me...I am sick of making excuses for my behaviors... I'm human... I am far from anything close to perfect.... I try not to hurt other people, and I try to enjoy my life... and I won't apologize anymore for it... Well yes I probably will but that's my nature...

Did I ever mention that I have 150 Gmail invites.... That everyone has decided to "update" their address book and feel the need to add me too it.... and WTF is with this Hi-5 bullshit... It's pointless crap...

Wow I have become a pretentious bitch...

"Act tough ain’t room for second best
Real strong got me some security"

What are YOU listening to right now?

Another One Bites the Dust

I stayed over at Laura's last night, after the amazing Wintersleep show... We stopped by my friend Nat's then headed to pick up some stuff, grabbed some gas and off to Sackville... Only problem with staying at Laura's, she likes to sleep in a VERY warm room... VERY warm... I like to sleep in cold room, it seems to be a deeper and more relaxed sleep and I don't wake up with a stuffy head, and very dehydrated.

My little cousin is getting married... She's only 21, I think he's the same age... In April, a spring wedding... My parents are trying to come down for the wedding... Married.... What a scary thought....

Work is going to be awkward today... No matter what... I hate awkwardness.... I went through my teenage years, that was enough awkwardness for a lifetime...

One month till Saint Patrick's Day. I think I may head to CB next month for a few days... Let the good times roll.

A Dingo Ate My Baby!

*HUGS* TOTAL!
give JamieROCKS more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

Slap in the Face

Hi

I shouldn`t do this on a email, but I am not able to do it face to face, I know it's cowardly, but I have no choice.

I don`t know what really happen, at first I only wanted to be friend, and then it kind went fast, maybe because I felt lonely lately, so I went into this`relationship` to fill that loneliness, but I see now that it was not correct to do so.

I feel that I am using you, because I don`t feel this relationship, I am sorry. The reason I am doing this now is that by me staying silent is even worst then not telling you now, but both option are still not ok, I am jerk and I should have said something sooner.

It is my sincere wish that we can still be friend.

I still want to say thank you, I know it`s not much.

Jonathan



******************************************************************************************************************************************

I just got dumped... I've never been dumped before... But hey public humiliation... How wonderful....

We weren't even in a "relationship" and I got dumped...

woe is me...

Funny part is... No where in that email is there any kind of explanation.... Unless you all magically see one... Cause if so share it with me...

I am drunk...

I am going out to see Wintersleep... His friends that I just met are going to be there.... I am going to act dumb and drunk... I don't want to not go.....I love WIntersleep!

I thought he wasn't that interested.. My friends told me I was paranoid... Aha well can't blame him...

I got DUMPED via EMAIL!!!!! I feel like someone took a shit in my mouth... ICK!

Tanya

I can not find your number... I need to call you.. I need to do a crazy girl, unsure of what to do, boys stink, and you are the only one who understands so please calm me down kinda rant... This sucks... Email me your number... Or post it here so all the crazies can call you too =)

I am on a Rob Zombie kick tonight.. His music makes me want to drive with the windows down and scream obscenities at strangers....

I am so melancholy... I did some bizarro quiz thing on my live journal... Some of the stuff turned out freakishly true... Oh and it said you were my lucky star...

I really miss you....

I really miss a lot of my friends... Is there some excuse besides a wedding or funeral to bring all my friends together... Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket and we can all get together...

I feel ferocious...

I need a nasty insulting conversation... Where is my evil comment section asshole?

"The best remedy to a short temper is a long walk" -Jacqueline Schiff

I took along walk tonight......

Welcome to the Jamie Show

Welcome to the Jamie Show

wtf?

Mais Oui

Trying to update on a french keyboard is quite irritating... every question mark turns into a bizarro E, and if i try and conjoin my words it forms another strange e... oh well

So Georgina and Chris are making the leap to NB this weekend and I must say I am excited... We are all supposed to go out on Saturday... Which I think will be an interesting adventure to say the least...

Tomorrow night is Wintersleep.. I am heading to pick up the Lovely Laura at 2 pm, and swinging into my little hometown to see my Grammy as today was her birthday her seventy second birthday... wow.... then we swing back into Moncton to o go shopping for intimate apparel... then off to the Wintersleep show at the Paramount.. I am very excited.. I had such a delightful time at the show in Halifax...

My very wonderful blog community has all but faded away on me... I still have my fierce addiction and want you all to know how sincerely missed you all are.. even if you dontè enjoy your own writing I do... *sniff*

for anyone out there who wants to feed the addiction comment the address or email me with it...

Hope everyone had a superbly divine Valentines... I know I did...

Devour my Insecurities

I was EMO before EMO was cool...

I was looking through some papers, sorting junk in my room... I found some old poetry... and realized I don'' embarrass myself enough on this website....

SO- Let's all take a moment to laugh at Jamie's pretencious teenage angst....

"I awaken in the dark quiet gloom.
Knowing only this my vapid room.
Wondering if I'd survive this horror.
My mind darkening sinking lower."

WTF???? God I suck... Oh this is another cheery one:

"Ugliness covers me, black and cold.
loneliness surrounds me, like a shroud.
This pain is fresh, burning and bold.
My emptiness forms a murky cloud"


Here is something I wrote for drama class when I was 16, I thought I was so edgy... baaaaaahahahahahahaha.

"I came home from work one night, 2 weeks ago, a night I thought like any other. I was so wrong.When I walked in the door my whole life changed. A man I did not recognize was standing between my husband and daughter. They were tied to chairs, straining against their bonds, their eyes pleading at me. My daughter on the right, my beautiful husband to the left. The stranger held a gun to my husbands temple then pointed it towards me as he told me to choose.. Choose? Which one he would Kill? How could I choose which would die, my lover, or my young daughter...".

Ok enough of that... There is more but I read it... and it's too embarrassingly crappy to finish... It's all depressing they all die in the end.... Wow... BLECH!

Now I will share a favorite quote:

"Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. "
-Susan Ertz

New addition to Jamie Show... citation du jour.... (BTW that was French!!!!)

Twisted and Broken Down!

It's 4:30 am... Do you know where you are?

I am home... On Saturday night... I went to my friend Pascal's tonight... had a wonderful visit with him and his boyfriend... I was told I have a great energy...

I had a delightful conversation with a friend how just started a new relationship.... I am overjoyed for him...

Things have changed so much lately... Friends moving away... me moving.. friends buying houses... having babies... drifting apart from other friends...

I just feel so honored to know some of the people who are in my life.... I have met some of the most interesting, intelligent, beautiful people on the planet in my many adventures.... Unfortunately some people are meant to slip in a nd out of our lives....

I want to tell you about what has been going on with me lately... but I can't... I don't' know how to put these things into words... I don't' know where to begin... I don't' know how to make you understand.. I am not sure I understand...

My parents are supposed to be coming down in April for my cousin Jennifer's wedding... is part of growing up... growing apart... Family is so important to me... yet half my family is almost the entire way across the country....

I am so vulnerable today.. I really am a bleeding heart, liberal hippy... I bitch about things... but what do I do to change them.... I am aware of the crap in the world... what am I doing to rectify the situation... can we all plead ignorance...

I am struggling... stumbling.... I am applying for Mount Allison next week... I have calendars from 8 different Canadian universities.... I got my first job babysitting when I was twelve... I got my first "real" job when I was 15... I have since worked at more than 10 different places... I am excited to go to school... to dig my heels in and devote my mind to educating myself...
I washed his dishes... I am such a woman....
I wish I could be a writer.. I wish I could sit down and spew out my jumbled thoughts and ideas into some sort of concise and constructive writing...

Peace Sells but whose buying.....

Ex boyfriend that I broke up with on Valentines of 2001 called my parents looking for my number... talked to my mother for 45 minutes... we dated for almost 2 years... I think this is incredibly bizarre....

How do I explain my trains of thoughts... where is the correlation....

Metal Gods is my favorite song right now... I could listen to it endlessly... when he kicks in with "Meeeeeeeeetaaaaaaaallll Gods"... and the marching with the whip cracking.... something hypnotizing and slightly erotic about the voice singing those words...

I watched Million dollar Babies tonight... hated it... and now that I think about it more... I hated Mystic River too... Hate.... it was supposed to pull heart strings and whatever... and I am a big cry baby... and blech... I love Morgan Freeman (is that his given name... cause now that I think more about it... that's kinda cool)

I watched Swimming with Sharks last week too... sucked ass... the stupid Esteban blind guitar selling dude commercial was better...

I am going to watch Labyrinth this week sometime... no expectations at all....

This is what happens when I don't blog for a while I get into overload....

I got a library card... New book... it's Ginormous... I want to visit the Moncton Museum next...

I have over 150 gmail invites.... does anyone anywhere know of anyone who wants some?

Sam, sorry for the long email... I had to gush to someone lol....

It's True

you are the "I hate you so bad" happy
bunny. You hate everyone and eveything and your
not ashamed of it.


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sweet

You are Napoleon Dyanamite and a buttload of gangs
are trying to recruit you.


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HI!

I had the most amazing weekend...

Wintersleep is playing Moncton next Wednesday... Be there!

Work sucks.....

Life is Grand..

My dad dyed his hair... and i hate it... but dont' tell him...

I really miss my parents.. i even miss the ass....

New boy is great.

*Sniff*

Where was I while you were getting old.

Can you keep a secret?

Someone once told me I am not supposed to kiss and tell.... =)

I watched "Ray" last night, and was immensely impressed with Jamie Foxx.... I forgot partway through the film that I was watching him... I think he should definitely win the Oscar.

My job is UBER boring... New Shift begins Friday with Saturday and Sunday off, and I am off on an adventure to Halifax......Wintersleep Marquee... Saturday night.. CD Release party.

I think it's going to be a magnificent adventure.

I have 5 university calendars that have arrived by snail mail in the last 2 days, which I have been trying to look over and figure out where I can get the best Bang for my BUCK (or the best education). This has been slightly nerveracking and I have caught myself a few times almost chewing my fingernails.... Tsk Tsk.

Early retirement, only 7 months to go....

Nostalgic nonsense

It's my oldest friends birthday today, and by oldest friend, I mean she has been my friend the longest... She turned 22 today, we met when I was 8, she was 7 , I holding the title as biggest and baddest troublemaker in the neighbourhood.

We used to run around David and Grace's farm, jumping from the different chicken coops, throwing stuff at the boys... Sliding down the hill behind your house, hiding from your younger cousin, running from the headless chickens, and scared of the slaughtered pigs hanging from the tree... We would feed the geese dried up bread, and scream as they chased after us when the crumbs had disappeared.

We were innocent, you were so gullible, and wanted to be popular, I tried to share my independent thinking with you, teaching you not to be so afraid to assert yourself. We were like sisters, inseparable for the most part, despising one other at other at times, so stubborn, with your fiery haired temper and my bossy ways.

It's so strange to see you as a woman now, going to university, being in a serious relationship, making a life for yourself, I still see you as being innocent, naive and 7.

You always looked up to me, sought my guidance, thought I was so cool, accepting everything I told you, looking for reassurance. It's so wonderful when we get together how we can just immediately fall back into our childish ways, of talking about boys, worrying about the future and giggling like fools.

I am blessed to have a friend like you, Tasha.

I'm a Geek

I am researching war....

I watched Finding Neverland tonight... excellent film, excellent company =)

It's 7:11 am why am I still awake?