BEST WEEEEEKEND EVER!!

EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me know if you want to see more pics.. these are a select few from Friday night!

From Moncton:

BLACK FROST



From Halifax:

HELLACAUST



HOTTTT!


SEXXXXXXXXXXY!


MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMETAL!!!!!!!!!!

METAL!!!!

Going to a heavy show tonight... Very excited.. I need to let lose and give in to the music...

I love metal.. I love how it makes me feel.

My corset won't be in till Monday so I must rearrange my costume for tomorrow... More Metal... Such a great weekend to come!

Free Ipod

Now available in Canada:

Free IPOD

I'm excited.. Music for at the gym!

Toronto???

I got back my other English essay a B+, what a heart attack and a half it was waiting for that to be returned...
If I had not written the essay at the last minute like a complete moron I would have done much better...
This is exciting.. I have found my niche... I can't sing, dance, draw or date, but baby I know my English...

I still hate Margaret Atwood, well not her personally just how she is exalted as the be all and end all of Canadian authors, I think Alistair MacLeod blows her out of the water... But that is for another time.

Now I just need to find a freak like me who wants to discuss books Au nauseum... hehehehe

It's wing night and I am off to celebrate my good marks, then I am going to lock myself away tomorrow in my beautiful basement apartment and concentrate INTENSELY on my psychology textbook. The midterm is a week from today, and I am going to developed good study skills and blow this bitch outta the water!

When that starts to drive me batty, I will escape to my English essay on Sexuality in Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Lighthousekeeping and the inference of homosexuality in these texts. Subtly done in Stevenson's text and slightly more overt, yet not directing mentioned in Winterson text. I figured it would be more of an interesting and engaging topic and An epiphany...

bare with me...

The main character in Winterson's text gender is not mentioned until the plot is well established, the same as the gender of her lover is not identified directly... Is this because the author wishes the gender roles to be interchangeable...

anyway, There is a metal show on Friday night, and a rock/metal show on Saturday night.. The second is a costumed event.. I love costumes...

I had an epiphany on Monday about y costume.. Now that I have black hair, with my blue eyes and red painted lips.... I could curl my hair, wear my favorite pouffy grey/black skirt and my new corset, carrying an apple and be an evil Snow White vixen!

The witch/vampire/pirate theme just wasn't working for me.. I wanted to be more creative.... Plus I am thoroughly enjoying having dark dark dark hair again,and want to play it up!

I am hoping to have figured out the pic posting in blog thingy by tonight and have some pics posted in blog... lol..

There will also be more on my livejournal.. I am not as shy about my identify there.

Can someone check flights on the night of December 12th to Toronto?

I am going to CB for Christmas... I think... Grandma's for New Years!?!

Rosa Parks

One of the unintentional pioneers of a non-violent civil rights movement has died at the age of 92. Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a bus, to a white man, in December 1955. This sparked a 381 day boycott and several non violent protests.

For more information:

http://edition.cnn.com/2005/US/10/24/parks.obit/index.html

Bawling my head off

I couldn't sleep last night, my head was filled with a comment mentioned to me about my writing being an inspiration... I was restless wanting to send that person a reply... Expressing things I have been too afraid to think; let alone say...

I have been nervous about university (as you have probably read here time and time again). I love it, I really do, but sitting and listening to lectures or class discussion, or even the readings do not dictate grades.

I wrote a midterm on the 14th of October, it was a Friday... I passed up gong out to Chixdiggit to stay home and study (oh yea MS. Responsibility who would have thought).

I wrote my little heart out, I didn't touch on all the points I wanted to in the two short essays that I was requested to write, I did not have time to proof read, or reflect on my ideas. I wrote two essays in under 50 minutes,and I walked out, and began immediately thinking about the environmental Studies essay due on Monday.

I received my midterm back today, I immediately flipped to the back page, the mark wasn't there... I flipped to the front inside cover and I gasped.. Like a bright beacon in the night... An "A"

I know university grades do not reflect intelligence, simply the ability to ingest and regurgitate what is requested... In most cases... my Metalheads teased me with horrific thoughts of being a Christmas graduate... I had sincere self doubts, it's been a long while since I wrote a formal essay, or wrote something without spell checker handy..

I walked down the stairs from my English class with tears threatening to pour down my cheeks... I walked past the classroom and into the ladies washroom and I cried... I'm going to do this, I can do this.

I AM doing this...

My whole life is coming together so beautifully... I still am uncertain of what I did to deserve all this magnificence, and I cry now as I type these words... I wouldn't be able to do any of this wouldn't' the encouragement I have received and I would like to share an email my mom sent me last week just before I wrote this midterm, after correcting my Prose essay.

"I put in my corrections using () to denote the changes I made. I think you
should recheck all your quotations to make sure that they are correct.
Some things were just spellings. Others were punctuation.
Everything else is perfect.
you are doing a wonderful job, dear
Dad and I are so proud of you
We brag about you to all our friends.
Dad talked Junior and Wendy's ear off last night about how great you are doing in college.
Mitchell says hi.
Al and Neva have heard in nauseum, how great you are doing.
Even Mr. Dan asked.
Love you,
Mom
xoxoxo"


I have said it before and I say it again as the tears splash on this keyboard, I am without a single doubt in my mind the luckiest girl in the world.

I am an ordinary girl leading an extraordinary life.

"Love is an unarmed intruder"

-Janet Winterson from the novel: "Lighthousekeeping"

I love university!!!!!!

I can't decide what to writ my essay on, have read all the literature, made notes, and I can ramble on about everything.. I need focus...

Watched "Crash" again tonight if you haven't seen it you should watch it!

My apartment is so wicked.. With the jungle intellectual theme... My roommate bought me a book self today.. I have a book shelf... I don't' think I have ever owned a book shelf.. My books have just been scattered across th floor, or stack in BOXES, no matter how many times I move.. I still have an insane amount of books.

I went to Prince Edward Island last night, had a blast!!!!! I have pictures and as soon as I learn a little more about photobucket.. I will link some stuff up.

*she knows if it wasn't complicating and confusing she wouldn't believe in it so much, she would convince herself that it was too good to be true, but it isn't, so it is...*

a commercial for the ring 2 is on TV and it scares me... I know it's silly but I scare easily... I want to watch Land of the Dead, yet I must have a boy to do that with... I need a guy friend in Moncton... Preferably one into horror movies and metal music...

*Yawn* 6:30am comes far to quickly!

Guess WHAT?

I have Black Hair now... Au natural baby (well practically)
I am going to PEI for the night!
I know someone who is going through some of the same shit as me... it's great having someone who "understands"

I am writing a 1200 word essay tomorrow... That isn't due for 3 weeks.. Oh yea baby this chick is going to be on top of her game!

I miss my parents. (I love you guys)
I bought a digital camera (wanna see pics of my hair lol)
I purchased a blender (thanks MA and PA!)
I am super excited for next Saturday and the rock show!
I acquired some new albums yesterday.
I have the best friends in the entire world! ( I love you all so much!)
I am so self absorbed I just started all those sentences with *I*

I can deal with that cause this blog has my name at the top!

Rejoice

I am so happy! I am so HAPPY!

It's Friday, I have begun my latest English novel and I love reading it.. It's about pirates, and lighthouses...

I bought myself a belated Birthday present... It is magnificent.

Next weekend there are some metal shows going on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday... Which is awesome because I am going to be studying my ass off every day for my Psych midterm... So a little rockin' out will be much needed.

Halloween is my favorite holiday!!!!

I have more to say but my carpool ride should be here very shortly.

Steve is FANTASTIC! (a sing-along)

Steve is absolutely AWESOME!

I want each and every person who reads this posts to click on that link and leave a comment on Steve's blog saying something positive and wonderful.. Or just a simple thank you.. Because I can't thank him enough.

I offered to buy him a present... I even through in "obscure", and "eBay" but he would hear none of it.. He did reluctantly give me permission to write a blog entry devoted to the wonder and glory that is Steve!

Jamie works well under pressure, she likes writing things last minute, it helps her to focus and be concise. She usually frets a bit... More for dramatic effect to keep her head clear and to make her concentrate...

At 4:30 am this morning, Jamie was on the verge of nervous break down.. She was nauseous, she was second guessing herself,she had drank about 3 litres of water and 1 litre of hot chocolate (coffee addiction has still not developed but I may work on that now that I attend university) words on the screen had started to blur, she had sent out three emails for proof reading of her essay.. No replies...

This was an essay worth 30% of her final, she had tried to nap, she had paced the floor, she had given herself a pep talk... To NO avail...

Then a sound, familiar yet so startling at such a late (early) hour, *beeeeng* a MSN messenger Alert~ SOMEONE WAS AWAKE~ not only was someone awake, but it was someone who she knew could write, someone whose writing she admired, someone who had taken at least one writing class to her knowledge.

Like a light in the darkest depths of hell, "Steve-Newly Engaged" popped online,a and as she frantically messaged him, trying to not come across as a crazed lunatic with her pleas for his assistance.

Quick background on Steve, fantastic writer, I have read every blog entry he has published, he LOVES Batman,he has an awesome sense of humour, he loves Batman, he just got engaged to the lovely Wendy, and he LOVES Batman!

Did I mention he ADORES Batman?

At 5 am this morning, he gave up watching Batman to proof read and analysis my essay.. In it's rough haphazard form. He also provided great comedic relief from the nervous breakdown... Some wonderful encouragement (more on encouragement in future post)... He also gave me a lecture on time management..


Steve is fantastic..Everyone sing along
Steve is fantastic..Everyone sing the song!
Steve is fantastic..Everyone give him glory!
Steve is fantastic..Everyone tell the story!

Ok so I haven't slept (in over 24 hours) and I thought it was great....

I have to eat lunch and get to my next class.. So yea

Steve you ROCK!

I appreciate you helping me this morning!

Thank you so very very very VERY much!

My sincerest gratitude to you my friend!

Steak! I've Missed you!

I feel very refreshed.. I just slept for 11 hours...

Now I just have to write 1500 words on Margaret Atwood's short story "Bluebeard's Egg".. a critical analysis, describing all the key technical devices.... It's worth 30% of my final mark.. I am a little scared.

I handed in my Environmental Studies essay yesterday after staying up all night writing it. While writing the assignment I sent my professor a brief email at 1:44 am ranting about how humans are evil and the assignment disgusts me. It was a rather "cranky" email where I ranted about all the negativity in the assigned chapter... He wrote back with a polite reply and suggested I read a David Suzuki book.. He's a really awesome Prof....

My student loan came through *Happy Dance* My roommates and I gleefully went to the grocery store.. I stocked up on loads of healthy things... I spent 5$ on raspberries but boy-oh-boy they were worth it. I also bought some new panties...

My next HUGE purchase is a blender, so I can start making my crazy *Greens* shakes!

I am having sushi for dinner.. California Roll....Mm mmm mm. Chop Sticks are fun.

If life were simple I wouldn't enjoy it so much...

Metallica, Pantera, Velvet Revolver and Slipknot are my companions du jour. Working on my environmental studies project.. I did not step foot out of the house this weekend to stay in and work on this and my technical analysis for my Prose class.... I still managed to find ways to procrastinate...

My dear friend Steve got engaged!!! I am over the moon happy for him and his lovely FIANCE Wendy, the stars have aligned in his favour. He also recently won tickets to the Grey Cup in Vancouver.

It's 1 am and my project is coming along nicely... I still feel slightly panicky but that only makes it more fun....

it's 3:30 am and my project is actually making me ill, the more statics I read about pollution and chemical waste, about deforestation and are poisoned water supplies.. about profit over human welfare.... I want to throw UP! It disgusts me!

It's 6:24 am, I am off to the shower, I have began to hallucinate.. I really am getting old! I used stay awake for a few days without any trouble at all and I made sure I got a lot of sleep this weekend.... *YAWN*

I think I may actually consume a cup of coffee today...

not going to do this again any time soon.. Now I just have to finish up the 1500 word essay.. stupid margaret atwood... She isn't the only author in history you know.. anyone who has taken any sort of English course in Canada has read some sort of story by this women.. she is NOT that great... blech


Ok off to shower!

Boobies and Babies

I found my lobster.

I guess this means the adventure truly begins!

How bizarre

The last 24 hours have been a complete emotional rollercoaster, I made some massive self realizations, and took full advantage of my superb support network.. I have the most amazing friends on the planet, who effectively screwed my head back on straight... I even called my mom who wrapped up the whole situation in a pretty bow with a sharp witted comment....

I think it finally happened my friends, and I think I am not going to fight it.... I'm not going to force it.. I really am just going to go with the flow.. With that being said... Being a mature responsible adult with morals and values sucks sometimes.. but I wouldn't change it for the world...

I want to rite a detailed entry about everything.. I want to be able to look back and and say- So that was what that was all about.. Reading old entries is hilarious... but I must get back to my environmental studies project, this girl needs another "A".







PS...

so excited

scratch that

woot woot

Made some hardcore decisions today... No more drinking for a while... I am starting to gain back weight I lost this summer, and it's a waste of money, I can have just as much fun sober as I can drunk... At least I used to and I don't think that will change.. Not that I have been drinking excessively or believe I am developing a problem.. I just want to start into a healthy routine and want to cut my cost and decided this would be an effective way to do so.

Dude that I had hoped was coming up this weekend.. Isn't.. Some sort of family issue, which totally sucks cause I really was looking forward to seeing him, catching up and making out hehehehehe....

I am star a new routine that will involve on a daily basis

1. Glass of skim milk
2. Glass of cranberry juice
3. Glass of V8
4. Glass of "Greens"
5. Eating an apple

This will also be incorporated with not continuing to not eat McDonald's (been clean since April 25th), and ceasing to consume any other bad "take out" like Wendy's, KFC, Burger King..Etc.. The only eating out I will be doing will be at Subway.

I will be eating breakfast, and not eating past 8, and visiting the gym three times a week.. And going for jogs on Tuesdays and Thursdays...

My Aunt Jennifer walked into my grandmother's house, gave me a hug while wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving and said "you've lost weight" ... Normally my family gives me shit for being fat... My grandmother ran her hand under my chin and said I can tell you are losing weight because this is disappearing... OUCH!

I want to keep up with the losing weight thing.. I am enjoying the muscles in my arms, and really beginning to notice the definition in my legs (which I can move incredible amounts of weight with those puppies now.. I was doing thigh presses, 180 pounds in, and 220 lbs out 15 reps twice). The craziest part being.. I have an ass... Losing weight has given me something I don't ever remember having.. An ass I can be proud to wiggle at a rock show... And wiggle it I did last night.. I haven't felt that sexy in ages..

life is grand.

Fed UP!

What is wrong with them.. are we really that much different.. Does the same thing happen here...

OK so I'll admit it.. I watch Oprah.. Yea yea ya..

yesterday she did a follow up show on sexual predators... Today on poverty in America.. I want to focus on the sexual predators part... but both issues make me sick... Absolutely disgusted.. What is wrong with Americans... Does Canada have the same level of poverty.. Is there as many children (per capita) kidnapped, molested, raped, mutilated ad murdered each year?

Why am I the only girl I know and I mean the ONLY girl I know who has not been molested, raped, or violated in some sort of sexual manner... Why am I the "abnormal" one in that case... I am not exaggerating.. I am the only girl I know who does not have some sort of negative sexual experience, be it molested by a relative, or forced/coerced into intercourse... It makes me so angry I am crying right now... How does that happen?

What doe this say about our society.. About our culture about our world.. Has this always happened is it only with the information revolution that we know are aware.. We don't keep secrets like we used to... Or is it more prevalent now?
grrrrrrrrrrrr

mumbling to myself

I can't sleep.. I am tired and I want to sleep.. but I am worried.. I heard 30% of the class failed their psych midterm.. What if I failed mine.. I was sick that morning.. I barely remember writing the exam.. I have an English midterm on Friday, and an environmental studies assignment due on Monday, my Prose paper is due on Wednesday...

I hurt my back tonight moving a couch upstairs.. We didn't get it all the way up.. It got stuck and I got stuck at the top of the stairs in the process... Which totally sucks.. I got all m stuff moved into the basement, except my computer because the dirty assed fuckheads who lived down their previously cut the phone lines.. broke the doorbell leaving a huge mess with holes in the walls.. We had to repaint and scrub everything.. It still needs more scrubbing but I was tired and wanted to start working n my homework... I think if I start my environmental project on Thursday and then study for English.,., then I will finish my project this weekend, and start my prose essay.. It would be nice to finish it..

This is my postcard to you my dear sweet friends.. a regular update into the zaniness of my life...

my roommate said I have to "settle" in my new place... That I stop moving around so much.. I am scared to stop moving.. The last 6 years have been fun.. but it's also been "safe".. If things start to suck or I don't want to deal with something or someone (mainly myself) I just move... It's been my coping mechanism and I have the "shiny" factor going for me constantly.. Only a few people get to really know me.. for some reason they still stick around... I think if I don't stay still.. People never really get to "know me"
there is a great deal of safety in that... OK so now I am psychoanalyzing myself.. I think it's bedtime.

my life is seriously like a scale that needs to balance.. For every moment of fabulousness.. There is that moment that completely balances it out... For every shitty ass day there is a fantastic one.. Every bit of good news is weighed out with a piece of bad.. Its great.. but it sucks waiting for the other shoe to drop...

and then there is this new man.. Who really scares the piss out of me.. but more on that at a later date... Cause this is either going to be kick ass amazing or Jamie is going to be severely disappointed...

You wouldn't believe me if I told you..

But here goes nothing...

Friday night, went to the rock show with my roommate and her friend from work... Who I managed to piss off twice in one night... I feel bad about it... Cause now she doesn't want to come over.. That's really not fair.. I just asked her if she was racist.. Told her it was good she wasn't cause I hate racists.. I asked her why she gets drunk if it makes her sick... When she said because she likes to get drunk.. I said it had to be more than that cause that didn't' make sense, but I didn't drop it there.,.. totally was doing Freud thing... Yea I'm an Asshole... It wasn't intentional... I have to think before I decide to psychoanalyse my roommates friends.. Some of her friends can handle my bluntness others can't and I should wait till I have met them more than once before I am so straightforward...

My roommate today gave me the "you're self centered" lecture.. I am used to this lecture, Laura and my family give it to me on a regular basis... I think she is beginning to understand the joy that comes with Jamie I "know" the world does NOT revolve around me.. But sometimes I can't help it.. I REALLY can't.. I try.. I do!

Purpose

I spent a torturous amount of time yesterday waiting while my Environmental Studies professor handed back our Assignments. It was worth 20% of my final mark, I was nervous, I was panicked and I was silly.

I got an A!

I am thrilled to bits... I want to explode.

I went to a rock show last night.... May I just say I had such an amazing time...

do you believe things happen for a reason... That there is a time and place for everything and things always work out well in the end?

strangest thing happened to me....

it has to do with a boy from my past and I was going to tell the tale... but I think I'll hold off on this one..


I am crying a little right now, reflecting on my 24 years... I really honestly truly, have the most unbelievably amazing life... I love each and every one of you who are a part of it...

(sorry it's that time of the month)

Back Away from this Post

I attend an elementary school university.. No tampons for sale in any washroom!!! This would be ok because Jamie bought a box of tampons yesterday... Except they are at home on my bed, and I am wearing the tinniest pair of panties that I owe... So there is no wear to put a pad...

ironically ( I think this is proper usage of this word in this case) enough, I read an article today in the eh school "newspaper" bitching about lack of feminine hygiene products on campus.. I don't' have time to walk downtown, thank god my best friend is in next class... I'll ask her, and if need be I will resort to asking complete strangers, cause dammit I'm 24 now... Though I think it may embarrass them...

Going to a rock show tonight, going to meet hot rock boys tonight... Sexy boy in English class has the best laugh.. The hair on the back of my neck actually stands up when he laughs... Today he sat behind me and I could feel the blush run through my body when I made eye contact... THAT has not happened in a VERY long time...

gmail has draft autosave... I LOVES it!

I had the most amazing night on Wednesday for my birthday... I am battered and bruised from moshing to Strung Out, was so stiff yesterday (old age I tell yea) but dammit I had fun.. the cute little bouncers kept watch over me... Which was odd cause I don't look helpless and there were other chicks in the pit...

Laura, Tom and I went out for dinner beforehand... To the Zen Garden, (vegetarian "sushi" so delish) had a lovely meal, the atmosphere there is great, even if the company sucked (just kidding I love you guys).

I had two exes phone me to wish me a Happy Birthday, I had one comment on this blog, 2 relay the message through MSN and another on a forum... tres bizarre, but made me feel good... I have found closure with all of them, and I keep bouncing along... I really must get to Environmental Studies... gotta find that elusive tampon!

Thank for the *HUGS* dudes.. I felt so loved and the e-cards were awesome, and everyone who I bumped into, phoned or messaged me and everything.. it REALLY made my day...

Have a delightful Holiday!

Happy Birthday to ME!

*HUGS* TOTAL!
give JamiesBirthday more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

Things to do:

Between today and Thursday I want to do a few things around the house, get ahead on some school work and tidy up before I go away for the weekend.

I am going to stay at my Grandmothers for Thanksgiving!

Here is what I would like to accomplish before I go:

1. Laundry
2. Mow lawn.
3. Read Robinson Crusoe.
4. Read Ch. 6 & 4 of Studying the Novel.
5. Rent out Bachelor apartment in basement.
6. Read Humphrey Clinker.
7. Read Ch. 14 or Western History book.
8. Mop Kitchen floor.
9. Do dishes.
10. Cook dinner.
11. Pick up Dylan from Daycare.
12. Get Student Loan "cheque" cashed.
13. Make cookies.
14. Sort through milk crates.
15. Sort through suitcases.
16. Begin Technical analysis of Bluebeard's Egg.
17. Begin Environmental Studies Project.
18. Read A Rose for Emily and The Sick Rose.
19. Sort through LARGE blue bin.
20. GET RID OF THIS SICKNESS!!!!!
21. Hook up Highspeed.
22. Go through clothes and give away ones that no longer fit!
23. Update "other" blog.
24. Review for English Literature Midterm.
25. Celebrate my BIRTHDAY!

did I tell you I came home Sunday night after spending the day at the University studying for my midterm, to a clean room?

My roommate, Sarah, cleaned my entire room for me while I was away... I now have a dresser, matching bed set, and clothes hanging in the closet... I feel so loved..

She knows that I have been moving every six months for the last 6 years.. she wanted me to feel settled in and at "home"... Settled down... Now that is SCARY!

No more procrastinating, time to start the "list"!

searching

Listing's to my roommate sing "My Girl" (Nirvana) at the top of her lungs.. Is hilarious...

Wanted

Tenet for large Bachelor apartment located in basement of private home.

$400 a per month

Includes:

1. Heat
2. Power
3. Phone- 24hr unlimited long distance to Canada and US
4. Aliant High speed
5. Cable
6. Private Entrance
7. Free Parking
8. The Pleasure of being under the same "roof" as me... It's in our basement...

Email me capergrl@gmail.com if interested... or leave comment.. or if you have questions.

This is in MONCTON.

I am not posting my exact address on the blog... so message me.

Studying for Pysch midterm, and reading Robinson Crusoe (the first "novel" ever written).

I got off the phone with my parents today, and I started to cry, they are so encouraging and supportive!!!!!! God I miss them.. I want my moms chocolate cake and lasanga for my birthday... and I really miss my dad's breakfasts, he is the breakfast master! When I told my father "the big fire had gone out" (he always says that when I like someone) he made a silly joke and made me feel better.. It is so cool to have parents I can talk to... Ok enough or I'll start crying again

I had Nat sitting beside me when I wrote that post last night, she spelled checked as I typed, and it kept me from writing anything stupid... Well anything TOO stupid. Truth is.. I thought I would feel crummier than I do..

Party at my place tonight!

0-3

NO MORE FRENCH GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have dated how many guys, and until the French ones... Never been dumped... I even ended things with him last week...

then things turn around... I want to say he got back with me to return the favour but that would be unfair...

I turned down a cute guy I used to work with because I was dating someone.. I ignored the dudes trying to pick me up tonight, because I was dating someone...

Guess it's time to hit on the guy in my English Prose class....

I am a stupid girl... I try and be different but when it comes right down to it.. I am just as foolish as all the rest.....

Back into the comfort zone.. No more listening to my roommate....

casual until I meet that handsome dude with eh Scottish brogue (proper use of brogue?)

tomorrow is my birthday bash..

ahh fuck it..If it's meant to be.. It'll happen.. If not.. Another lesson learned...